Doctor Cyst Blaster

So my doctor saved my ovaries! And all three of us are very appreciative. But he has no care for this trip I've been planning!! He says I can't fly for a week... Which cuts into my time with my love Amanda and completely rips away my trip to Positano, Napoli, and Capri. :( And I'm left leaving my traveling buddy hanging. Though everyone is telling me, "don't worry!", "get better!", "you didn't plan for this!", "better here than in Europe, amiright?!"... I still can't help but feel like crap. I know, as my doctor says, "6 weeks are better than none." But this trip was right on the tip of my tongue! I could taste it! The lemoncello, the pasta, the Italian wine, the pizza, and freakin expresso!! 

I know I know I know!!! Stop complaining you'll get to still do all that and least your safe and healthy! But I'm still a bit sad. :/ 

On top of it all I can't even spend this weekend with friends, because I need to have a follow up with my Doc here in LA. So I have an appointment with him Monday, and then I'm gonna schedule a flight from LAX to leave after that! So no time back home. I love and miss you all, and I'll see ya after my trip. Xoxo

                                Sincerely 

                                     Cass <3

   

Don't Ovary-Act... It's Just a Bit of PMS.

Amen Sister Jen!!

  So Friday came around, and I was all set to pack up my home here in Pasadena and head back to Salinas for a couple days. I had made plans to get coffee with some friends, take a couple pictures to have something to edit on the train rides, and catch up with friends who are going through some life struggles right now. Buuuuuut... my uterus had other plans...

 

This is the normal feeling I get when I'm either on or about to start my period. Like someone has punched me, stepped on me, stabbed me, and set fire to my ovaries. I'm down for the count for two days. It's so painful I have to stay in bed all day with a heating pad. Minor pain killers such as Tylenol and Alive do nothing. I almost black out when I get up to go to the restroom or get food. It's not a pretty sight. I always thought that was normal... apparently not...

  But Friday... oh Friday... that day Mother Nature had a vendetta. She was out to get me and she wasn't gonna let me off easy, not one bit! So I woke up from a deep slumber and 9am caused by the worst pain in my stomach! The upper and right side of my stomach, so naturally I assumed my appendix had blown. My mom came in to see me writhing in pain, and then DeeDee (the woman I live with) and they stood there... staring at me... probably thinking, "Hmm.. what should we do? Hospital? I should change..." And I screamed, "CAN YOU GUYS STOP STARRING AT ME AND DO SOMETHING?????" I needed to go to the hospital, and I needed to do it stat. So they called an ambulance. 

  A beautiful man walked in and asked me for my name, and held my hand. He told me he was gonna take really good care of me. If I wasn't still in agonizing pain, I'd think I had died and was talking to an angel. Then I was rolled into the ER, where I was cared for by wonderful kind nurses. I wasn't super kind, but who could blame me? It felt like a small bomb went off inside my stomach. Then they gave me morphine... ahhh morphine... she was lovely, beautiful, and made me so happy. What a gal that morphine! So they took me to get a CT scan, and found out that all the while I thought it was my appendix, this was what was really going on... 

(sorry for the profanity, but it's honestly how I felt)

  Apparently I had cysts the size of lemons on both my ovaries, and they had ruptured. Also it had looked like one of my ovaries was twisted. If that was the case, that would mean that the blood flow to that ovary was cut off and within 15 minutes that ovary would die and they would need to just remove it. 

Side note: Now I've made it perfectly clear, that I'm not someone who particularly wants to have babies. I wanna be an aunt for sure, but me have a baby? Nah I'm good. I've also made it perfectly clear that I am completely open to changing my mind about that some day. Who knows, I might meet the love of my life and think, "I need to have a million of little bits of him and me running around!". But until then, this is the way I see my future. Until they told me that they would be taking that possibilty away from me. I was overwhelmed with sadness that I may not get the chance to change my mind! As my best friend told me, "the world needs Cassie spawn!" Lets be honest, I add a little je ne sais quoi, to all y'alls life. ;) 

  Okay so back to Friday. They told me I needed minor surgery, they were gonna cut two holes in me and go in laparoscopically. First surgery, y'all! I was a wreck! I pulled myself together, and passed out and let them go to town on my uterus. Turns out I wasn't twisted, (HELL YEAH) and they cleaned out all the cyst fluid they could. Now the thing is, this isn't over. I have endometriosis  which is hereditary, (thanks mom) and I have to fight this aggresivly. So they are going to give me a birth control that is suppose to get rid of my period... (Should be interesting) But it will come back, and I will have to have this surgery again. Right now I'm fine. I can walk by myself, pee by myself, they are taking the IV out tonight and I can eat. 

  But now it's Sunday night and I'm still in the hospital and I just want to go home! I mean I'm still in LA for cryin out loud! I need to pack for my trip! If I time it right, I can still make it Wednesday and be able to see my love Amanda in NC, but if I don't get out tomorrow, I'm just going straight to Europe. I'm trying to give it up to God and let his way be my way. But I reeeeeeeeally wanna see Amanda. :/ So fingers crossed, break a wishbone, pick a clover, wish on a star or 11:11. Or maybe pray?? But I really wanna go home tomorrow. So lets have hope peeps! Thanks! :) 

                             Sincerely 

                                    Cass <3

Wish I had a TARDIS bag...

I wish my bag was like a TARDIS... And for non-whovians, I wish it was like Mary Poppins' bag. Bigger on the inside! 

Today I started lightly packing for my trip. Putting things in my suitcase that I don't need now, but will for my trip. I realized this is gonna be reeeeally really hard! Maybe even impossible!! 

As of the last month, I've been living in sweats and my work uniform. So all my clothes that I want to take are either in my dirty clothes basket or in boxes. So I can either go to the laundromat and get all my laundry done now, and be able to pack this bag more efficiently. Orrrrr I can wait till I get home and rush massive loads of laundry while simultaneously trying to see as many friends as I can before my trip, whilst stressing the WHOLE time. Hmmmm... It'll probably end up being the latter... :/ I'm such a horrible procrastinator. 

Then there is the matter of the need of a TARDIS/M. Poppins bag. I am such an over packer! But come on! How often am I going to be in Rome, London, Ireland, or Prague??? I want to look fabulous on this trip! Not like a dirty back-packer staying in hostels... (Which is precisely what I am going to be...) I want to pack sundresses for Positano and Monte Carlo, my trench and gorgeous red coat for England, boots for Ireland, a different cocktail dress and pair of heels for every night we go out to bars and clubs, and multiple scarves for Amsterdam! And I don't even know what I should wear in Switzerland and Germany!! 

When I went to New York for 10 days, I checked two suitcases (one was FREAKIN GYNORMOUS) and a carry-on. TEN DAYS Y'ALL! I'm about embark on a trip for 49 days and I need to pack less than my New York trip... Like I said... Impossible. 

I'm sure I'll manage it, but right now, I cannot fathom it. 

These Are My Confessions...

So I must confess, this post today isn't entirely about my travel. Today was such a mix of emotions, so I felt like a facebook status was just not going to be enough. Here are all the emotions I felt today

Excitement & Anticipation
Today was the kick off for Brit Week in Santa Monica on the 3rd Street Promenade, where I work! Which made me suuuuper excited because I'm leaving for my trip in 2 weeks! I'll be in Rome so soon from now, and I can't believe how quickly it snuck up on me! I pretty much know what I'm taking, and because I'm staying in places that will have a washing machine I know not to pack a ton of clothes. It's the shoes and nightlife outfits that are gonna sneak their way into my suitcase and cause me to pay an extra weight fee at the airport. But if I leave them behind they'll think I don't love them anymore... :( I don't think it really has hit me yet that this is gonna happen fast. That before I know it... I'm going to be at that airport, showing the TSA my disgustingly, embarrassing passport picture. Hoping he won't wonder if the girl in the braces is actually me or not. That in just a few short days, I'm going to be sipping lemoncello, dinning on the best pasta in the world, with the lovely Katrina, and watching a beautiful Positano sunset. Ahhh! I can't wait!

Sadness & Despair
Leaving on this trip has made me hit a reality that I am going to have no money for a while. Which means I have to leave a job that I have completely fallen in love with, for good! (because I'll be getting a new one back home for a while) For those of you that don't know I currently work at Victoria's Secret on the Third Street Promenade in Santa Monica. And I love it! I love how busy it gets in there, and how full of foreigners it is, all. the. time!  I absolutely love all the girls I work with! Thais my little, beautiful Brazilian! Who calls me crazy all the time! Teresa, the sweetest Spaniard I'll probably ever meet! She has helped me become so confident in the fitting rooms, I'm not quite sure how to repay her. Olga, so feisty! She always makes me laugh! Angela Brown... Gurrrrrrrrrl!! I always feel so ghetto fabulous when I hang with her, and I'm gonna miss sitting in traffic with her, carpooling to work! She easily became a bestie. Xochilt, who made me say "rachet" and ya know... I think I'm a better person for it. Kaylynn, "EVERYTHING'S WRONG!" Closing with him took forever, but it was so hilarious! And to name a few others, Sharron, Taylor, Betsy, Natasha, Summer, Monsea and any others I've worked with and shared a laugh or two... or six. I'm gonna miss those ladies like crazy. They've made this the best working experience I think'll ever have. Not to mention the best management crew fo sho! Alexis, my direct manager, I love her singing whenever we closed, whenever I hear "Buy U A Drank" I will think fondly of her! Dianna, I love her dirty mind and semi-awkwardness. Anytime I see a hot guy, I will immediately  be reminded of her running and hiding behind me because she was blushing so much! Erin, she'll probably never read this... but I heart her. she was an amazing boss and co-worker. I will miss her mucho! Anna, April, and Ashley, they all have been incredible! Their work ethic has been inspiring! I am now a better employee because of every single one of my managers! I will miss dearly, working for them. (Don't you all just wanna tear up???)

Shock & Awe!
So I love working in Santa Monica for a few reasons, one of which it being a hot spot for celebrities! So far I've let Cindy Crawford and her daughter into a fitting room, and asked William Baldwin if he was finding everything ok!

But today!!! I showed this little lady 



Yes... Diane FREAKIN Keaton and her daughter
where the Very Sexy bra was! I am going to miss
the amazing sightings and the hilarious "OMG! That
is, blah blah blah!!!" over the mics! No one else 
knows what the heck we're laughing or getting all excited
about, so they just stare at us. Hilarious.

Stress & Confusion

Since I'm going home for a couple days (3 days to be exact) I want to see more people that I love! But It's going to be so difficult! Because there are so many people I love and wanna see before I go on this adventure of mine, but so little time! I need to make a schedule and not deviate from it. Luckily most of the people I wanna see go to church so I can see so many just in that little pocket of time. But it's quite stressful to try and get people who I wanna see for more than 2 minutes all figured out. Especially since this is crunch time for some people and their schoolin. I hope to see and be able to spend a valuable amount of time with all my lovelies. 

and lastly...

Irritation

I chipped some of the glue on my permanent bottom retainer on a chicken tender (wtf?) and now it's rubbin on my tongue. Frickin A...

Welp... Hoped you enjoyed this emotional rollercoaster and you didn't fall asleep, cause CRIKEY! It's a long one! ;)

Sincerely 

       Cass <3