Amen Sister Jen!!
So Friday came around, and I was all set to pack up my home here in Pasadena and head back to Salinas for a couple days. I had made plans to get coffee with some friends, take a couple pictures to have something to edit on the train rides, and catch up with friends who are going through some life struggles right now. Buuuuuut... my uterus had other plans...
This is the normal feeling I get when I'm either on or about to start my period. Like someone has punched me, stepped on me, stabbed me, and set fire to my ovaries. I'm down for the count for two days. It's so painful I have to stay in bed all day with a heating pad. Minor pain killers such as Tylenol and Alive do nothing. I almost black out when I get up to go to the restroom or get food. It's not a pretty sight. I always thought that was normal... apparently not...
But Friday... oh Friday... that day Mother Nature had a vendetta. She was out to get me and she wasn't gonna let me off easy, not one bit! So I woke up from a deep slumber and 9am caused by the worst pain in my stomach! The upper and right side of my stomach, so naturally I assumed my appendix had blown. My mom came in to see me writhing in pain, and then DeeDee (the woman I live with) and they stood there... staring at me... probably thinking, "Hmm.. what should we do? Hospital? I should change..." And I screamed, "CAN YOU GUYS STOP STARRING AT ME AND DO SOMETHING?????" I needed to go to the hospital, and I needed to do it stat. So they called an ambulance.
A beautiful man walked in and asked me for my name, and held my hand. He told me he was gonna take really good care of me. If I wasn't still in agonizing pain, I'd think I had died and was talking to an angel. Then I was rolled into the ER, where I was cared for by wonderful kind nurses. I wasn't super kind, but who could blame me? It felt like a small bomb went off inside my stomach. Then they gave me morphine... ahhh morphine... she was lovely, beautiful, and made me so happy. What a gal that morphine! So they took me to get a CT scan, and found out that all the while I thought it was my appendix, this was what was really going on...
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| (sorry for the profanity, but it's honestly how I felt) |
Apparently I had cysts the size of lemons on both my ovaries, and they had ruptured. Also it had looked like one of my ovaries was twisted. If that was the case, that would mean that the blood flow to that ovary was cut off and within 15 minutes that ovary would die and they would need to just remove it.
Side note: Now I've made it perfectly clear, that I'm not someone who particularly wants to have babies. I wanna be an aunt for sure, but me have a baby? Nah I'm good. I've also made it perfectly clear that I am completely open to changing my mind about that some day. Who knows, I might meet the love of my life and think, "I need to have a million of little bits of him and me running around!". But until then, this is the way I see my future. Until they told me that they would be taking that possibilty away from me. I was overwhelmed with sadness that I may not get the chance to change my mind! As my best friend told me, "the world needs Cassie spawn!" Lets be honest, I add a little je ne sais quoi, to all y'alls life. ;)
Okay so back to Friday. They told me I needed minor surgery, they were gonna cut two holes in me and go in laparoscopically. First surgery, y'all! I was a wreck! I pulled myself together, and passed out and let them go to town on my uterus. Turns out I wasn't twisted, (HELL YEAH) and they cleaned out all the cyst fluid they could. Now the thing is, this isn't over. I have endometriosis which is hereditary, (thanks mom) and I have to fight this aggresivly. So they are going to give me a birth control that is suppose to get rid of my period... (Should be interesting) But it will come back, and I will have to have this surgery again. Right now I'm fine. I can walk by myself, pee by myself, they are taking the IV out tonight and I can eat.
But now it's Sunday night and I'm still in the hospital and I just want to go home! I mean I'm still in LA for cryin out loud! I need to pack for my trip! If I time it right, I can still make it Wednesday and be able to see my love Amanda in NC, but if I don't get out tomorrow, I'm just going straight to Europe. I'm trying to give it up to God and let his way be my way. But I reeeeeeeeally wanna see Amanda. :/ So fingers crossed, break a wishbone, pick a clover, wish on a star or 11:11. Or maybe pray?? But I really wanna go home tomorrow. So lets have hope peeps! Thanks! :)
Sincerely
Cass <3
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